Author: Joe G

11/25/22

I would ask - if you have tips, pointers - or what not to do -  or ppl I can contact for such about:
diving deeper into the  "chasm" as you called it.  Why "Chasm", btw?
 Or how to get the Vastness of PA to expand at will, that would be useful. Right now It's the basic practice - focus attention  on the I spot unceasingly and ask who am I when other thoughts arise. 
And, that may be all "one can do." while  the universe pulls back - nice metaphor. I may reach out to Gary as well.

Chasm, like a hollow or empty space. Thoughts have a congested feeling like too many people in a house. Awareness is the only free real estate. It can hold all of yourself. The chasm feels like a manifestation of it in the subtle body. Consciousness can kind of house there while still being in the world/having cognition of objects.  The Self is big, all expansive so where is it then in the world of objects. Like in one of your shares. That chasm holds that sense while going about ones day ime. It seems to always have ample space.

It can only expand at will when the realization that any individual will is appearance only. The will of universe is the only will and sense of me willing it is the wrong direction from my experience. Rather my conscious mind only recognizes which way the breeze is blowing never where it originates from. Yet also, the understanding I Am the originator. Yet the phrase must be understood from the humblest of places even though it sounds full of arrogance or worse megalomania;)

No intention to pry here but you may wish to ask about the vasana to share the work with others as you noted in one of your shares commenting you felt guilt or soemthing as though you mislead someone. One way to know if it just soemthing passing or in fact something rooted deeper in the consciousness is to see if it has patternistic qualities. Does the thought about helping others in this work come up in any frequency and if so does it seek solution that leaves one lacking. These are called vasanas. Patterns of desires and fears in the unconscious that blind awareness taking on action. I don’t mean to judge, it is for your discernment to decide if it creates suffering for you. It may have just been soemthing in passing. Merely just offering an example of how you may wish to form shares into questions.

Thank you, spot on and so very helpful. No judgement felt, please feel free to pry.
The Vasana to help is valid - in the case I wrote about I was in contraction from a cold, and I was not open to better aligned answers. It is something i do watch and discuss with my therapist - who understands and practices ND -lite spirituality. I mean what are the odds I did a therapist who understands my practice. Actually pretty good given I live in Encinitas.
But I get the idea of looking for Vasanas and seeing their roots. Franklin Merrell Wolff in Pathways through to space, says one can have enlightenment, but it does not mean much if one can’t transcend their own psychology. I am working on the “behavioral “side of the dream character.

Expanding being at the Self’s choosing makes total sense, thank you for the nudge. It fits with the only original thought I’ve had: you can’t make it happen, and you can’t prevent it from happening. works in the dream state = don’t push the river. And from the Self. The dream self can’t act on its own. Period. I think being open and willing helps. “Keeps my eyes open and be willing to act on opportunity “ = Breeze metaphor is quite good. Got it.
Chasm. Yes, that works. I see consciousness as a process where as the Self is not. Seems to me Consciousness arises in the mind which arise from Self.

So, keep up my practice, look closely, manage my mind, stay open, focus on I spot, watch where I constrict and what the roots are, watch for the roots of tendencies -both”good” and “bad”.
Speaking of which it seems to me that I don’t need to focus attention on the the thought I any longer, if I can feel the I spot and focus on that. Sound about right ?

I also have now a deep longing to merge with the Self. And “use it wisely” when it occurs.

I’ve also had a couple of very brief experiences when focusing on the I spot of the external world feeling a bit “flat” 2D-sh and plastic-y and uninteresting. I’d say I was making hits up, but I have no idea what I’d be making up. It’s very very subtle and could be wishful thinking.

From the way you describe it I would almost say that it seems like the chasm is the entry point into Self (“back door”) from the mind.
But more likely is the emergence of the mind, thought body external world from the Self.
Not to get, too caught up in useless, analogies and metaphors, but being a teacher by nature, I use analogies and aphorisms for teaching and understanding.

Q:

That is wonderful, the awareness cannot go away. It is right there the whole time. Your insight/experience is very accurate to my understanding. I will say there is more after this. There is always more. It refines and the appreciation for it deepens. Experiences are wonderful but the key is to draw insight and wisdom from them as the experience itself does fade but the knowing can grow afterwards. This is common so keep an eye out for any residual clinging to what is the experience/aha moment and what is the wisdom gleaned from it. The wisdom cannot go away the experience is fast fading. The knowing is like a mirror of being that keeps freedom always there even if the life/experience isn’t in an AHA state. Life can be very mundane or difficult but the Knowing holds the mind at bay so the sense of it being a problem never arises.

A:

Yes, it is wonderful. Interestingly, there is not the clinging to experience I had in the past when experiencing Pure Awareness. In those cases, there was not the recognition that i am That – the pure awareness, so as the memory of the experience faded, clinging arose.
This is different. No clinging to the experience of AHA – there is no desire for or need for that experience again- or it’s so minor it can easily be let go of.
Instead, there is the desire to‘return’ to awareness and sitting in the Vast Vastness of Pure Awareness. I sorely miss that. The vastness that expands from”within” to contain the universe and with it this mind-body-experience of Joe.

However, I’ve had a severe cold for the last few days since the Aha and it’s been very very hard to allow the vastness to expand to encompass the entire universe as before. When the cold passes – and it is starting to recede – god willing 😉 I would think I can allow that vastness to re-expand.
In the meantime, and going forward, I focus on the “I spot” and ask who am I when other thoughts emerge.
Has all ego dropped and mind stopped. No. But, I can see that by focusing on the I spot, and investigating what is there, that over time the ego would be less and less active and “interesting” until very little attention is paid to it.
There is already a slight, but noticeable “reduction in feeling real” of everyday experience. I don’t have to remind myself “this is all illusion arising in PA”, as I have in the past. No, the experience and insights find me instead of me finding it, if that makes sense.

As I said, when I went to “do the math” to work out ND and D after the aha – I very clearly felt the sense of reluctance to let go of ego/annihilate ego. So I sit with that as well.
If you’d be up for a chat sometime on zoom, or by phone, when this holiday is over and you are so inclined I’d look forward to it.
Thank you for all you help, your willingness to wade through so many words 🫣 – what can I say? I’m a teacher by nature and profession and am a good story teller..
and I acknowledge your service to others. 🙏🏻
I am trying to do the same and pass it on cleanly clearly and with infinite compassion.

It used to really make my blood boil when people used that phrase -” It’s All Good” seemingly so lightly.

That is a very strong pointer to a very deep truth – and it takes a lot to get to that.

Although the real wording of the pointer is “It’s all equal” – meaning the  content of perception is all equal. It’s just content, nothing better or worse. I’ve heard some use ‘same’ as in “it’s all the same” – but that doesn’t really work because clearly it’s not – that red chair here is not the “same” as that blue chair over there.

But to the awareness,  the content is all “equal” – it’s just content – not good or bad – not better or worse – no preferences – no judgements – the Awareness does not care what the content is.

And I can blow a hole the size of a whale in that “it’s all good” remark (apologies – re-reading Mckenna vol 2 and it’s whales all the way down).

So how to show someone quickly “it’s not all good”? Well, how about people dying of starvation and puppies in ovens and babies on bayonets.

Is all that “good” as well? Pretty much not.

That usually ends the conversation and people drift away from me – can’t imagine why. (JK) – I stopped doing that stuff at parties. But, not sure how I’ll show up these days as I have no idea what I’ll say next.