- Reading: Power of Now, Spiritual Enlightenment, The Damnedest Thing, I Am That, The Open Secret
- First glimpses of Pure Awareness-Consciousness (“conscious-awareness”)
- Conceptual understanding that I Am That
- No significant meditation practice
- Direct experience of Pure Consciousness
- Seeking abandoned
- Regular Meditation started, but was not correctly practiced.
- Monday, November 7th – after castigating myself once again for not making a lasagna perfectly, the complete absurdity of casting shame, blame and guilt on myself one more time popped me out of the Matrix. Seeking began again stronger than before. There was a new, more mature quality to it.
- Friday Nov 10th – started earnestly practicing breaking the thought stream and quieting my mind in new mediation practice. After a few days this worked to break the thought stream.
- Thursday November, 17th – Pure Awareness and high energy, apology email, “I love Us”, physical experience of dis-identification with egoic Joe. Managing the high intensity energy – “The Exuberance”, Spirit in Practice. Channeling for friends and family
- Saturday November, 19th – Started reading Ramana Maharshi’s Who Am I and started practicing in mediation.
- Monday November 20th – Costco
- Wednesday November 23rd – In response to Who Am I query the “I” thought dissolved, leaving noticing vast vastness of Pure Awareness. Posted questions about I/Who Am I on Reddit and as a result, started “proper”self-inquiry. Posts ended with me “conceptually understanding”. But that is all. Later, vastness arises of it and intensity is so large and so familiar to experience in sitting doing I /Who Am I and the Self turned the volume up to 11, so to speak, so it was blatantly obvious -it was simply impossible not to notice it – and it had been there all the time and there a flash of AHA and recognition through identification. Then ‘knowing’ came after. And the arrow in the FedEx logo is finally seen and can never be unseen. Seeking comes to an abrupt end.
- Thursday November 24 – toddler with ice cream cone – non-dual “package”? Knowledge and understanding are replacing the AH experience – never to be had again. First Q/A – clear and clean, Makyo pays a visit – I’m starting to cling to the experience. Thanksgiving dinner. Loss of I spot. Small nervousness, forcing myself to let go.
- Monday November 28th – Body work, Pure awareness Light/mobile version. 3 hours then decided to give it a rest. No longer clinging, full surrender to Self.