Started with literal feeling of “hole” inside the center of the body and something “gone” – or was never really there.
Then quote From Mckenna popped in – Never understood what he meant – then got it tonight:
(paraphrasing) We create the story of us to hold off the unacceptable truth of no-self. Any story, no matter how good or bad is better then the truth that “we” do not exist and never did and are merely sock puppets on the hand of the One.
Well…quite the night.
(Note: The One in this context is not intended to imply any form of duality at all. Just the Source, the IS appearing as emptiness and fullness. )
All action is spontaneous of the Source. Collapse of ego and no longer a “me”.
All is the Source. Complete freedom to act. Complete liberation.
There is no me and never was – only the illusion of a separate self. That is gone or rapidly dissolving. There may be some residual “fear” around: what if the Source chooses to do xyz and we hurt others, or get hurt or wind up in prison, yada yada. Without me, the ego to watch over and control, we’d be out of control and could do, well, Anything!🙀
But that freedom has always been the truth and Right Action always arises. The ego never chooses or has any choice or volition. The Source has never ‘made the choices’ the ego fears…why would it start now?
You can’t make it happen, you can’t prevent it from happening has always been true for the ego. It can’t act.
Tried meditating- unable to generate the I-thought with out forcing it and that feels wrong. Barely able to generate Who am I – but that’s all beside the point and no longer needed, as there is direct access to Self/the Source, Stillness, peace, wisdom. All right here when needed w/o the filter/interference of illusory egoic self.
No longer need to work through I/Who Am I for 30 minutes to “quiet the mind”. The Source is readily in and below all thoughts and sensations and experiences. Simply closing the eyes, or not even that and it is here. “I Am That: is no longer needed as it’s redundant and introduces duality where there is none.
Question of why to ’practice’ at all comes up for contemplation. If it arises I do it. If not I don’t.
This has always been true but now more direct and unfiltered.
Rock solid-ness w/o any doubt. Direct, unquestionable, feels almost arrogant but so what? The Source is The Source. Period.
I don’t think this is just egoic posturing in a new way.
Huge lifting of responsibility of ego. Huge relief of no longer carrying that burden. Not that it ever did.
There’s more here. No need to try and force the stopping of narration between insight/intent/will and expression, I don’t think. It will wind down of its own accord.
Also, a sense that some/all? of the “flowery” drama of how Joe shows up and speaks is just trapping added by the ego to have a hand in things and take ownership.
No talking is needed – so maybe Bob is right. Like putting a cap on Michelangelo’s David or putting a ceramic cherub on a fence post at the end of the trail (this was really seen once – a friend threw it down in disgust). Totally unnecessary decoration that really adds nothing to the moment and the perfection of the One. Example- the Rocky Mountain High quote on the front page of this blog. Ugh. Will leave it for now as a signpost-memento of egoic Joe. And my sister liked it, so it may work for others. (removed it 2022-12-18)
This is all still very fresh. We’ll see how it plays out and evolves, but hard to imagine going backwards.
From July 23, 2009:
We are all blind.
It takes losing all we hold dearly,
before we can see clearly