Dis-identification with ego

November 17, 2022

Evening of the 16th I cleared some hindrances that were blocking the clarity and energetic flows. I had given the wrong pointers and message to someone on Reddit and compounded that by being a raging member of the Non-Duality (ND) Police.

With that blockage cleared, I was able to get to sleep, feeling the electric buzz in my arms grow stronger.

Awoke at about 10:30 that night. Thoughts around the cause of the hindrances led to an apology email that I would send, written out of genuine remorse and apology to the person on Reddit. Those thoughts morphed quickly into strong feelings of energy, limitless feeling in my mind -like my mind was expanding to contain the universe. That quickly reversed and I was the universe and  this body/mind appeared within it. Reversal of internal-external universe was inside – mind was outside.

Then there was a message that came through : put your spirit into practice- what are you doing with the spirit given to you to help yourself, others and life to be better.

I worked with that for a while and the message seemed sound. Then I noticed, as I have noticed before in deep mediation, that the awareness was focused when I put it on or directed it towards something I “knew” it in depth. This worked for people and concepts. For people, I thought of friends and relatives and I seemed to channel insights about them.

Then the saying my wife likes to use with our dear friends popped into my mind: “I love us. “

Now, that particular phrasing and grammar always stuck with me as being a bit odd. That’s not typically how people phrase that. It might be I love you guys or something like that. But no, it was that very specific phrasing

And, as I held that in my mind I realized – this is how the universe manifested(manifests?).

The intent, or desire or will arose in The One, The Source, God, Brahman, or whatever (“I” ) through infinite love, manifests as all the infinite manifestations and varieties in the universe. All unique and all the One.

And, notice, the painter is in the picture, it is the One in all its manifestations. Notice the difference with beliefs like “god loves you, or us”  – or we’re all god’s children -again the insertion of the separation where there is and can be none. – it inserts a separation where I love us has none.

And there you have it – how the universe manifested as love in all its forms in three words. My wife, a manifestation of the goddess as all women are, has always been highly practical and efficient.

Then I mainly stayed with this for a few hours  mostly just enjoying The Current – the feeling of being 110 volt being plugged into a 220 or 440 outlet. My wife calls it the Exuberance. But it is clear that the energy flow of the Current is separate from the focused knowing.

Got up so as to not wake the wife at 1 am and came down stairs. Tried to sleep and couldn’t so just enjoyed the new portal to direct knowing.

Got up at 5 and started yoga. Energy was diminishing a bit but feeling of focused Knowing remained. Similar feeling of clarity and high energy s Sunday and Tuesday but now more of a feeling of controlling the focus.

During Yoga – coming up into Sun Salutation – all of a sudden there was this sense of a veil or “ghost body” being pulled away from me or vanishing. And what vanished was the one self – and as I noticed it felt foreign- not “me” – more than looking a mirror and seeing someone else, but of a similar nature I guess, never having had that experience.

And I think that was it – the dis-identification with Joe’s Ego. There was still thought and movement and all – but something was gone – a layer – unneeded – removed.

Then as the day progressed, energy and awareness reduced in intensity. Awareness with had felt like the entire universe inside my mind, reduced to “normal awareness” and the energy reduced as well –  although I’ve now been up 13 hours and feel “normal” – no drag on me or feeling of being fried or toasty which is the usual outcome of long nights like this. About midday start feeling a bit tired and a nap may be in the future. I’m thinking I’m running on residual energy.

Interestingly, mental, verbal, semantic “knots” over ND and related stuff:
True, but there’s no one here anyway, yet typing and reading is arising 😉

Actually work and provide no hindrance or contradiction now. There is the sensation of a body and thought and typing and sitting on a couch.

BUT, answers to issues that might have drawn an anger or edgy response, now something calmer arise.

So, if you could have access to infinite knowledge – what question would you ask?

It’s not about the answer it’s about the question – the question shapes the answer and reveals far more to and about the asker than the answer itself.

Also, feelings of love for sister, which previously were hard/impossible to find.

Desire-lessness and non-attachment are in full presence.




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