Daily Diary December 12, 2022 – Peace that surpasses understanding

In meditation this morning, the first half hour was tough as usual and then got much easier. Actually it might not have been the first whole half hour. It might be getting easier sooner.

But once the first half hours done, the remaining period of time was simply amazing – no sense of time passing – the alarm would go off and I’d reset for another five minutes and another five minutes and another five minutes and would’ve kept going if I didn’t have a call at the top of the hour.

The piece was phenomenal – I don’t know what to say about it.

There was still some very light mind activity and thoughts in the background way in the background. But even so, I need to just keep bringing my attention back to my hands or just simply the peace itself would work.

I did notice that even a little bit of thought in the background detracted from or ever so slightly polluted  the overall peace. There also is also a sense of seeing something or going somewhere deeper, and that was effected by the thoughts as well.

So next time, need to work much more carefully and clear the thoughts and keep them clear and keep bringing it back to the peace and stillness.

Also ran over how I would take someone through a meditation from initial questions of how do you value truth & how does it feel for you to be in alignment with truth, to do you exist, to feeling presence, to thoughts ,to illusion of thoughts, to illusion of thoughts of self, and eventually focusing on the presence itself.

Daily Diary Friday December 9. 2022

Friday December 9 2022

Biggest thing today was trying to remember a negative life shock to demonstrate the clearing process for Dr L. I searched and searched and searched and really could not come up with a negative life shock. I had a wowser the day after, but at that point no life shock.

So I pulled a minor one out that was recent – that in the old days wouldn’t even have counted. LOL.

I re-experienced the life shock, felt the emotion and feeling and started in on the mind talk and quickly, after one sentence, got to:
“Well maybe he was mad or maybe he was disappointed or maybe he was something else.”

At that point, I abruptly stopped looked up and realized I’ve never in all my years of probably hundreds of clearings – both for myself and others – ever, ever heard the mind use the word maybe.

That was such a shock it blew me right out of the process. The intense laugher cleared me right up. I was just laughing for so long because very few people would even be able to appreciate that!
I could appreciate it and it was just great – that the mind is changed so much that it doesn’t really even in do mind talk in absolutes.

For example, the mind typically says things like this persons an idiot this person is trash. She’s a bitch, it’s always gonna be like this,  it’s never gonna be like that, they’re always gonna do this to me. Absolutes,.

I’ve never heard a “maybe” in my life and  maybe turns out to be true mind talk – maybe he was mad. I don’t know, I haven’t checked it out yet so that would turn out to be a real don’t know. Pretty funny.

So, more to the point, the mind has changed and the mind talk it produces is less caustic and less seeing or experiencing situations as so negative.

Until the next day. More on that December 11, 2022.

Another thing  being noticed is what I’m saying. Usually there’s nothing in my head I haven’t rehearsed anything and what comes out is just what comes out,. Talking to a clerk while buying some cards at a Hallmark store, she said no use complaining it’ll never change. and I said ” well maybe it’s the way you complain”

and she said “maybe i don’t need to complain so loudly ”

I said well, not necessarily maybe it’s how you do it. And then from somebody else popped out the words “it’s OK to ask for what you want.  And it seemed perfect for her.  Wow love it.



Daily Diary December 11, 2022

Saturday December 10 – Sunday 11, 2022

A very difficult couple of days .I spoke with an old friend yesterday and the conversation did not go well. As a result, I was in contraction most of the day and evening and into today.

Spent two hours in I/who am I meditation this morning. First hour blew through and I was noticing feelings of sadness and suffering, which I haven’t felt in weeks and weeks. There was concern around that and even the possible thought that I have a “lost it”. But since there’s nothing to actually lose and that most of that’s just an experience, I just let it go and continued to sit. But, I could feel my gut was tight – a sure sign of egoic reaction.

Couple things dropped in-  something someone said to me about watching ego versus insight and then something else about carrying someone else’s sadness and suffering. It was almost like the David Bromberg song “Somebody Else’s Blues”. I was wondering where was the sufferting coming from? It wasn’t coming from me. And then after a while, it hit me.

I need to let this friend go.

I’ve been in an enabling, codependent relationship with him, almost from the first time we met. And after sitting and meditating on that I wrote the following:

13 years ago and just a moment ago I picked you up at the side of the road hitchhiking.
And now 13 years later and a moment later, I open my door and let you out , apparently pretty much at the same spot.
I have carried you literally and figuratively for all those years.
I thought I could save you,  guide you, protect you, heal you.
I thought I could sit with you and be a big  brother and keep you company while you – and I – suffered.
I see now clearly that is all ego. And any action I take in this just sustains the ego. I surrender you to the Universe, the Self, knowing you are in better  hands. And always have been.
I realized something was amiss when yesterday I was saying that my personality had shifted and it was permanent and I was just about to say the words ‘and that is why I keep practicing to ensure it’ when you jumped in before I could finish, to say or question if the shift was really  permanent.
I am done. I’m done with my spiritual seeking and I’m done with suffering and sadness and am moving on.
And I am done with us.
I did not send it. As that seems like ego as well. I simply blocked him and deleted him from my address book. Little by little, I relaxed and the tension in the gut when away and my normal well-being stillness, joyfulness and playfulness returned. Actually, the thing to do and probably the hardest thing I’ve done so far along this path.

Toddler with a Melting Ice Cream Cone

November 24, 2022

So, thinking I didn’t get the full  Non-Duality package = oneness, loss of separation of self, etc, that some guy posted with no attribution to source, I initially found myself thinking I’d missed something.

The Awakening was intense, clear and  unmistakable. And I could not see that there was more to do. I started to use the Clarity to work “out the math” on how ND -D works. And why I wasn’t experiencing “what I should be experiencing”.

This quickly turned into a feeling and thought form that I wasn’t ready to fully surrender and needed to actually “push the total surrender/Annihilate Ego” button.

I even dreamed up a brand new dream character – a little toddler with a melting ice cream cone as a metaphor for not being ready to let go of duality yet.

After realization of being Pure Awareness, there is reluctance to let go of Duality. No suffering or discomfort. More like – as I wrote: Once out, I’m out , no reinsertion into the matrix. So let’s stay and enjoy this for a while. I also know it’s not a ‘choice’ and will resolve itself of its own accord. But it is surprising to see that egoic clinging so clearly. Just haven’t pushed the Total Surrender button yet. Will he or won’t he? Tune in next week for….

I “expected” to feel my wife – who was sitting next to me when this happened – and I are one – but of course that is Pure BS – there is nothing like that in the Pure Awareness. Just thoughts and perceptions arsing. One of which is my darling wife and the thought I should feel oneness with her for this to be legit.

I ask because I still see two where there is only One – and there’s this toddler clinging to its melting ice cream cone. I was surprised to see that arise. Now playing with the annihilate ego button. And looking for a huge towel, as the total surrender may involve a lot of tears. Or not.

Dang! I’m now staring at a bona fide, good old fashioned ego clinging to duality – not wanting to be annihilated- though that’s clearly what’s next. I could relax and ‘easily’ let truth of One as Two flood over me, but there’s no going back – no reinsertion into the matrix – once out, I’m out. And it’s sorta like prolonging climax.

S0, I got to sit with and explore the psychological, spiritual and practical aspects of not wanting to leave Duality. And imagined the  clinging of ego – where was none.

AND, I got to experience “first hand” how the mind conjures whole realities – beings, feelings, thoughts, etc. While the toddler did not exist in the external world in any way, he existed in my mind as an object and felt real.

Are there stories of people who realized their nature as pure awareness, but did not immediately get the whole Non-duality package? from nonduality


Relax and Enjoy the Ride


There is a vast, vast field of pure awareness and all is inside ( in front? Mmmph) of it. Still feel the I spot. And will investigate further. Right now fingering the annihilate ego button. Just playing with it for now. My life situation has plenty of room for ego destruction. But I want to play with this in duality for a while. While still seeing the fearful egoic clinging that’s arising. Kinda cute and childish and a bit pathetic really, but only a bit. Like a toddler clinging to its melting ice cream cone. And it’s all perfect.

I initially started the practice and followed Ramana Maharshi’s instructions to the letter. When a thought arises other than I , I would ask who am I? I skipped over the me part quickly and went right to who am I.

So I would ping-pong back-and-forth between focusing on the I spot in my head so to speak and ask the question who am I. slowly a little by little there was increased noticing of the awareness.

I quickly rejected the infinite regression of awareness, being aware of awareness and moved to awareness as awareness not of awareness.

If there are no other thoughts,I simply focused on the I thought and then moved to the I spot. My first experience with the Pure awareness many years ago, I too experienced the spot in my chest.

Unfortunately, at the time I didn’t have a practice that worked for me to quiet the mind and so eventually it all came back. Quieting mind is very important. A personal note I was a terrible meditator. I failed meditation 101 for decades, literally. I would just quietly watch my thoughts play out. Not good. And then finally used the Eckerd Tolle technique of focusing attention on the body.

In my case I have an ongoing electric tingle around the hands and forearms and it was very easy to pull the attention away from the mind. Once I was able to break the thought stream and quiet the mind, then I turned to I and then the who am I. I also was able to focus on the I spot not just in meditation, but in daily life and it helped immeasurably as well.

Funny thing is nisargadatta in I am that says exact same thing – quiet the mind, focus on the sense of I am and everything else will spontaneously take care of itself – the man is right. But, I wasn’t willing to quiet my mind and so I was basically sitting in the middle of an busy intersection while trying to do all this, which is insane.

I would say it was gradual, gradual, gradual, suddenly. I had a few high energy surges, but this felt more like turning up the temperature on the stove to cook things faster. Those stopped, but recognizing my self as the pure awareness under/behind all as foreground, happened quite suddenly and completely, with no fireworks. Just complete recognition and identification. Was pure awareness, but didn’t see the truth of that is what I Am , until used Maharshi’s Who Am I looked more closely. I popped later that night.

Daily Diary November 23-24, 2022 – End of Seeking

“Q” is a person on reddit taking me through “proper” self-inquiry, for the first time ever.

“A” are my responses.


Do you exist?

Self-inquiry is an attempt to find the I, which leads to the realization that it doesn’t exist. You’ve seen this already. Ramana calls it the “I thought.” That’s all it is – just a thought, like any other thought. Only it’s the root of all other thoughts. What it “means” is that it never had any fundamental existence – any seeming existence of the separate “I” was an illusion.


THANK YOU. That was it – your questions and push were what I needed.

Watching end of Matrix Resurrections it just popped out. I “noticed’ the experience of sitting here, watching the movie, was the same as watching the I and asking Who AM I and noticing there is only that awareness and Pop.

The awareness I know to be the ground-state ‘within which (or behind) everything happens – thoughts feelings emotions perception, body sensations.

That awareness which is Primary and HAS to be primary.

That awareness which is undefined, undifferentiated, unchanged and un-moving, and unmovable. And I do not see how I – the awareness – could go back into itself – there is “nothing” to go into and no thing is going into anything. BUT – I can see how focusing more and more attention to the awareness could decrease outflow of attention into the mind’s thoughts and external world. I think. More to come.

I Am That.

And of course “searching for it” just distracts further. There’s a big difference between knowing and accepting it conceptually and having a direct experience of it. Knowing it balls to bones.

LOL – were you sitting there waiting to see if I could “do the math” and get it?

I’ve been a teacher by nature and profession all my life – and how many times did I say to a student – yes, it’s that simple. Students always make it harder – so there would be a need for teachers, I guess. Well, you came along at just the right moment.

I’m guessing there’s more to come. But it starts – and ends there, well maybe.

And of course like the right-facing arrow in the FedEx logo…Once seen it can’t ever be unseen.

Abiding non-dual awareness/ mmm not yet. I still see Two. Maybe that is the next stop on this Disney eTicket dark ride. And I’m sure when I relax and let it come the “math” behind how One appears as two will be right there, along with everything and anything else, always, inevitably right there.

“I” happened to notice my awareness was feeling particularly strong and “vast” and that led to noticing it rather than what was being watched. Wolf’s switching of subject/object, I suspect.

And all the intense consciousness experiences – were still not “it” they were still just intense experiences within the awareness and hid it.

Is there really anything else after this?

Well, transcending my own psychology would help -though a lot of that burned away recently. But of course, that is still not “it’ as it still is within awareness. It’s turtles all the way down, baby lol

Thank you so much for the ‘final’ push. No longer any in here or out there, Or rather, things that were thought to be inside are outside and vice versa. And that is what I said to my wife right after it happened: “I’m done seeking” Now playing with the total surrender/annihilate ego button. Still see two where is one. And I have a toddler here that is clinging to its melting ice cream cone. But, I may wrong about the whole not two thing. Not sure yet. That might be something different unrelated to recognizing my true nature.

Initial Gary Weber Thoughts

Initial thoughts about the Gary Weber bit.
I think it could serve as a rational scientific basis for why I am practice works which might make it more acceptable and accessible to some.
But ultimately it’s not a pill it’s not a quick fix. You have to remember to do it. It can be very difficult to stick with. Progress can be slow
it’s not a drug.
And there may be a real practical reason why the deeper practices use the spiritual terms.
Also noticed that Gary continues to use the spiritual terms and symbols to describe what he did and how he does it.
And I don’t know that his technique is all that different from the spiritual practice but again the scientific basis may help others access it or be ok trying it.
Monday morning, November 21.
Fully started the practice of focusing on the sense of I
I was sitting in meditation this morning.
Very difficult to keep attention focused on I
thoughts would come up and pull the attention away or bodily sensations.
There is a feeling of the I thought being just behind the third eye.
I have some concerns about focusing on what appears to be a physical sensation. Is it just simply mokya or is it useful mokya- to be dropped later?
Although if I’m not focusing attention there there is no sensation there.
Focusing on the sensation does make it easier a bit To keep the attention focused.
I think I can see where this practice is going.
If letting attention go outward into the mind’s thoughts and body sensations in the external world, I can see the idea of pulling the attention back, not having to go so far out
Instead, focusing inwardly, and yet I could see where the body and the being could still exist and function, without needing this intense amount of attention put into it
It does seem a bit like, abandoning oneself to the mind its thoughts in the external world.
The question becomes is that level of attention and concentration needed for daily life.
I can also see the  direction of attention is a learned habit and habits can be broken.
I have heard it takes up to two weeks to break a habit but that’s probably practicing not doing the habit or creating new behavior constantly.
A learned behavior that is self reinforcing as we’re going on for probably 60 years it’s probably gonna take longer than two weeks to break.
Right now I can’t really do the focused attention internally when eyes are open or in activity like walking or driving or on the elliptical. For that I’m using a chant Om, Mani Padme Home (sic) to give the mind something to do while the rest of the external activity takes place.
But that’s temporary I assume until I develop the skill and strength of attention and focus and don’t need to repeat a mantra.
I can see dropping it (and out!) at some point.
On a scale of 1 to 100 I initially thought 0 to 100 but I’ll give it one to 100 I would say I’m probably like maybe 1.01.
Which may not be much but it’s more than one.
And after one or two days of this stuff that’s pretty good progress.
There’s also a renewed sense of earnestness and commitment and relentlessness to this practice.
I’m really curious to see where this is going to go. Will it eventually lead me to my true nature,while  the body and worldly things take care of themselves, and all or even part of my attention remains fixed in the formless
I could see that occurring.
I would say I got a glimpse of what this could mean mostly conceptually that there is that .01 experiential we’ll see what tomorrow looks like.

Jeff/Joe First Conversation – Gary Weber

Joe/Jeff first conversation 11/22/22
Thank you for doing this with me my friend , I very much appreciate this.
To recap the early morning hours are best in a darkened room with very little noise and other distractions.
Sit quietly in an open body posture whatever is comfortable for you.
And then focus on the idea or thought of I.
And watch what happens
pay attention
don’t get caught  following the thought stream
if your attention starts to get pulled away to other thoughts, ask the question internally, “who am I” and see what comes up and then bring your attention back to the I
You can repeat, saying I a little more slowly than we did on the phone.😉
Sit for at least five minutes and as much more than you want after that.
And then feel free to do whatever you want after that.
But at least five minutes
make note of what comes up in your body and mind.
Also, see if you can detect a place or location within your brain where the thought I is located.
Have fun!❤️
Love experiments and the article gives me some background on what’s going on in the physical neurons.  Life IS an experiment… or experiments make life more interesting and productive (assuming you run the experiment well and don’t skew the results in the direction of ‘what is best for me’.
Wish I had some way to monitor the DMN to see the pre and post activity.
I’ll need a bit of time, post experiment, to give you a behavioral analysis… or maybe there’s not one (at least that I know about now), but it’ll be interesting to see if there’s anything out there written about it.
So the question arises for me around the DMN: is that the complete explanation for all the spiritual stuff that has been taught over the years.
Or is there something more or less 😆
Is there a mystical/spiritual aspect to it?
What does that mean anyway?
Or is it just the way that they could talk about it before they had the models and the psychology and the chemicals and understanding of brain physiology.
Like the humors in the body possession, exorcism, and other things before we understood, schizophrenia and brain chemistry.
It is actually kind of nice to know that this is just something i can do and practice and produce over time.
But there’s also part of me that likes the mystical woowoo part – but I think that’s just a personality thing, as I like clairvoyance and divination.
I like tarot cards and runes and stuff like that and that has nothing to do with anything he’s talking about.
And the spiritual guys say the same thing those are separate powers you can gain and practice has nothing to do with letting go of the mind talk and identification thought.
From how he describes it is. It maps almost Word for Word from a lot of the enlightened guys that I’ve read Maharshi, nisargadatta, people like that, in terms of experience, once you take the ‘spiritual orientation’ away. I admit to having a little difficulty letting go of that, but if this is approachable, accessible and doable by everybody and it just turns off the ruminate of mind that’s great and again maybe that is just the language that they had at the time.
Like coming back to Jesus and the way, he talked about things at that time, which today we would describe differently.
I would say that I’m actually living proof of this –
– that a lot of the internal ruminate narrative that he talks about really has dropped away, less anger, and when it comes up, goes away really quickly and much more even tempered and as he says a better response to situations.
For example, discussing with Donna last night what I want and don’t want with her bringing parents furniture to the house. I’d never have brought that up before as cleanly and directly – but I felt a lot more space and was comfortable and I didn’t make her wrong and there’s no ruminative narrative getting in the way.
I’m actually very glad that you’re interested in doing this with me.
Does the type of explanation make a difference in understanding how to ‘work it’? Maybe, maybe not… Are you into understanding it or working it?  The explanation is interesting from the aspect of how to determine a ‘path’ or ‘process’, but in and of itself, I’m not sure how I get there, just that I arrive.
I agree completely.
No, I do not want to turn this into a flow experience, which is when somebody ask you what time it is in you explain how the clock works.
And per what Gary Weber says by reducing the ruminative narration we don’t need to know how it actually works
if it works and you get the results do you actually care?
I imagine a lot of people would be really bummed that it’s not the spiritual God thing that they really want it to be
that I don’t care about at all.
Not to be greedy, but I’d like to experience the oneness, the nothingness, the non-duality the lack of separation, and all the other things he talks about and if it’s really just a matter of brain function and meditation in the right way and breathing great bring it on, and I don’t have to reincarnate a bazillion times to have it.🙏🏻👁😂
I think a lot of that stuff is strictly control like any religion.
Oh yah, you might enjoy this
so as I go vegetarian because I am feeling arising of non-injury as I mentioned.
On the list of things to not eat were mushrooms, onions and garlic, which would’ve created a real issue around the house.😥🫣
When I did the research about why those things are on the no-no list it comes down to religion and caste. 😳🤯 in India.
Ha! as soon as I read caste – I’m done!
I just made a lasagna went great and has onions, garlic and mushrooms.
This is three weeks in.
Could be a novices view point, but it’s a more interesting discussion that a dry one about how Verbal Behavior works.
What I was thinking about is the ‘Useful’ internal dialog and how it fits into the whole paper.  thinking about problem solving is a useful bit of internal dialoging.  Gives you a chance to examine multiple ways things could work, without spending the time with an option that could fail.
The internal dialog represented by the DMN, being in the off in Lala land, oblivious to what’s happening around is what we are trying to reduce or eliminate.
How it pop-up is very interesting.  Leads me in the direction that ‘verbal behavior’ isn’t required to make things work.
Evolutionarily, we may have moved away from that model, because we opted for a more ‘social’ existence.
Exactly, and actually gets in the way and decreases the quality of the response.
Tis true that the longer the delay between Stimulus and Response, the weaker the response and the more undirected it is… says The Behavioral ME 😃
Let’s see how it goes with you
if there anything there and you can validate even some of it then I would be up for trying with some other people and eventually writing a paper and who knows maybe we can work with corporate America to actually start training their people like this, that we put it in the strict psychological terms “confirm or deny” – keep the religious stuff out of it and we get the results that we want – that would be amazing.
And a great way to end our careers no?
Was in a doctor’s office today for a routine check up and had 5 minutes to wait for the visit.  Sat and concentrated on saying “I” to the exclusion of all else.  After 5 minutes or so, when I stopped, I was much less interested in ‘sharing’ anything about myself other than the questions he was asking.
What I mean is that there was a picture not eh wall of the office that we have here in the family room.  Initially, when I went in the office, I noticed it, thought about the one in our house and wants to share that with the doctor.  After waiting and concentrating on “I”, there wasn’t the same interest in sharing anything other than what he wanted to know.
Any sense ??
Yes, I think you hit it on the head. I love that approach of bigger the delay between stimulus and response, poorer quality of outcome.
If we can reduce the gap or even get rid of the gap and we’re getting even better results. That’s gonna be pretty hard to argue with – nothing succeeds like success.
This is starting to remind me of the movie Limitless (Bradley Cooper) which I’ve loved since the very first time I’ve seen it, and if we can get into that realm, – basically turn off the parts of the brain that are actively working against the rest of the brain then effectively we’re getting that kind of result and experience. And it’s available to everyone.
And it’s not drug related back the  issue that Skinner had with using neural chemicals to change behaviors.
Yes, your experience maps to mine. I didn’t want to give you any hints, but like yesterday when I was walking the cats, and focusing on, I
I notice a definite switch for a few seconds to kind 2d, surface-y plasticky sense to what I was seeing
I wasn’t caught up in what was going on. I was walking the cats for sure, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t emotionally and mentally pouring energy into that
by holding back a certain amount of energy in the center of my mind. It freed me up from that.
Superb. I’m really pleased.
Hey, keep it going, if you can focus on i and what am I in other areas and activities.
I would be very curious to see how your experience of golf would change with this
It would be pretty funny if you actually watch your scores, go down.
Do you have any idea how much money we could make if we could actually produce a usable, viable simple practice for golfers and sports people and sales people – it wouldn’t even have to be 100% . even an increase in performance a quality of 20% would be amazing
Not that I’m about the money Of course that drops away with this.
Hee hee
Love Limitless and was sorry to see that the behavior under the influence, had no strength what so ever, in the absence of the drug.  I kinda wanted Cooper to have picked up some of the skills he had while under the influence and emmet them in the absence.  I never saw the TV series to see if they explored that any.
Like At the end, when he has to keep all the different labs going.
And now that I’m thinking about it more and more I’m letting it in and LIKING this!
I really prefer this being a rational scientific testable provable repeatable technique that anyone can use to increase their concentration, performance, and quality of experience. And relationships.
And with the diminishment of narrative thinking, of course you get the compassion you get the love, you get the patience you,  get the happiness all that comes along as well.
Watching some of the Weber videos he does talk about the fact that compassion doesn’t come up for him. He just does right action and it’s perfect for the moment.
Fine. Whatever.
Yes, the ending made me feel like all he experiences was a sham and he could only accomplish anything when he was chemically, under the influence.
Chemical substances expose you to stimuli and contingencies that you weren’t aware of.  When the chemicals go away, the stimuli and contingencies are still around… granted more difficult to discern, but still there and able to exert their control on behavior.

Random Thoughts -2

Tuesday November 22, 2022
Going to Costco and TJs was like walking into a firefight. But my interaction with staff was good- Costco membership lady, clerk at TJs
Also, when dealing with others on the path, on Reddit and Discord, specifically
Feels like being in a super crowded train station.
I’m heading directly to my platform and train.
While most everyone else is milling about aimlessly or going to the wrong platforms or bumping into each other, or the walks, or whatever.
And they are really worked up about it.
Better analogy
We’re all on the cruise ship
And I’m heading to my cabin to get dressed for supper
And everyone is milling about and stressing over and trying to control the ship to make sure it  gets to where it’s going anyway.
Asleep at 9 -ish
Awake at 11:30
Laid awake until 12:30 and got up to eat.
Really thought I could think myself back to sleep
Counted down from 10 a couple times.
Pfffft nothing.
I can hear bob l. giggling from over here about that counting stuff. Oh, just stop it!
Maintaining weight still a challenge.
Moved to rice+honey+cinnamon
D thinks it’s gross,
But that’s how my parents got me to eat rice when we’d go the The Rice Bowl in Chicago for Chinese food on Sundays.
And I think like 1/2 the world eats rice like that as a form of pudding.😆
When I awoke at 11:30 I deliberately did not go into meditation since that tends to wake me fully.
However, my meditation practice of focusing attention seems to be bleeding over into non-meditative times and seems to be ‘taking over’.
I’ve never experienced anything in 38 years of ‘meditation’. Must be making up for lost time 🫥😆
So I went from having to consciously focus my attention on the feeling of I in my head to it being easier to attend to  to it being drawn to that and started to feel like a magnet, drawing my attention to actually not have to  even think about doing it – it was just there in the attention, and I would have to actually consciously pull attention away which I could not do.
That’s what I call the practice taking over
I and who am I are not mantras
This is very different, fundamentally from a mantra.
A mantra becomes just another thought and occupies the mind while we do other activities.
I and who am changed brain physiology:
It it don’t stick, it ain’t worth shit.
‘Course, we can’t put that on the cover
Wolf- The Current is less when doing objective tasks.
This would probably be his way of explaining the reduction in the DNM Center
He would have loved this.
Many explanations from the past got rewritten with current evolved understanding
Exorcism, hysteria breakdown of consciousness in the bicameral mind.
Self-referential internal narrative (SRIN)
Don Juan stopping internal dialog

Random Thoughts – 1

It seems all the enlightened guys are young
Meaning it seems to happen to younger folk.
Is it because they have less to unlearn?
I’m 63…will I get out on my own before I’m thrown out?
I’m getting to be more like my cats having to eat every two hours
And interestingly, they are responding to me differently
Thoughts as nuclear control rods
I find sometimes I have to turn thinking back on just to control this.
That’s working right now but I’m not quite sure how long that will continue to work.
Buy the ticket
Hst’s guide to spiritual enlightenment
Nizzy quote
Quote from nisargadata: quiet mind, focus on I
Rest happens spontaneously