11/23/22
Initial thoughts about the Gary Weber bit.
I think it could serve as a rational scientific basis for why I am practice works which might make it more acceptable and accessible to some.
But ultimately it’s not a pill it’s not a quick fix. You have to remember to do it. It can be very difficult to stick with. Progress can be slow
it’s not a drug.
And there may be a real practical reason why the deeper practices use the spiritual terms.
Also noticed that Gary continues to use the spiritual terms and symbols to describe what he did and how he does it.
And I don’t know that his technique is all that different from the spiritual practice but again the scientific basis may help others access it or be ok trying it.
Monday morning, November 21.
Fully started the practice of focusing on the sense of I
I was sitting in meditation this morning.
Very difficult to keep attention focused on I
thoughts would come up and pull the attention away or bodily sensations.
There is a feeling of the I thought being just behind the third eye.
I have some concerns about focusing on what appears to be a physical sensation. Is it just simply mokya or is it useful mokya- to be dropped later?
Although if I’m not focusing attention there there is no sensation there.
Focusing on the sensation does make it easier a bit To keep the attention focused.
I think I can see where this practice is going.
If letting attention go outward into the mind’s thoughts and body sensations in the external world, I can see the idea of pulling the attention back, not having to go so far out
Instead, focusing inwardly, and yet I could see where the body and the being could still exist and function, without needing this intense amount of attention put into it
It does seem a bit like, abandoning oneself to the mind its thoughts in the external world.
The question becomes is that level of attention and concentration needed for daily life.
I can also see the direction of attention is a learned habit and habits can be broken.
I have heard it takes up to two weeks to break a habit but that’s probably practicing not doing the habit or creating new behavior constantly.
A learned behavior that is self reinforcing as we’re going on for probably 60 years it’s probably gonna take longer than two weeks to break.
Right now I can’t really do the focused attention internally when eyes are open or in activity like walking or driving or on the elliptical. For that I’m using a chant Om, Mani Padme Home (sic) to give the mind something to do while the rest of the external activity takes place.
But that’s temporary I assume until I develop the skill and strength of attention and focus and don’t need to repeat a mantra.
I can see dropping it (and out!) at some point.
On a scale of 1 to 100 I initially thought 0 to 100 but I’ll give it one to 100 I would say I’m probably like maybe 1.01.
Which may not be much but it’s more than one.
And after one or two days of this stuff that’s pretty good progress.
There’s also a renewed sense of earnestness and commitment and relentlessness to this practice.
I’m really curious to see where this is going to go. Will it eventually lead me to my true nature,while the body and worldly things take care of themselves, and all or even part of my attention remains fixed in the formless
I could see that occurring.
I would say I got a glimpse of what this could mean mostly conceptually that there is that .01 experiential we’ll see what tomorrow looks like.