Daily Diary December 7, 2022

Meditations on unconditional love and sat-chit-Ananda https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Satcitananda, which
Is a description for the subjective experience of the ultimate unchanging reality. It represents “existence, consciousness, and bliss”.
A friend encouraged/pushed me to look at unconditional love, but his definition of it did not map to mine whatsoever. This caused some initial contraction and even some thoughts of failure…
So I quickly told him that I dropped that – I would not be pursuing that line of inquiry.
I am the only thing that is real. I am the only one who knows what’s true.
The One who brought me here will bring me home and show me what to do. As it went on to do this morning.
There is an all-pervading sense of joy, rightness, lightness at just being at all times (occasionally contracts, but is Very short lived or easily ignored). Having fun and playing in and with the world. If those characteristics define UL for him, then that’s it for me.
While meditating this morning, became aware of and was contemplating ‘sat-chit-ananda’. And could feel the bliss of consciousness and existence. Once it’s recognized, looking back, I can say I experience this almost all the time now. Though I haven’t  consciously been aware of it,  now I’ll be more  aware of it. It’s not tied to anything it simply just is. Without being wrapped up and lost in thought, the simple bliss of being conscious and existing. I would say for me, it’s the simple joy and acceptance of what is – without judgment or thought, or labels. The bliss of being in existence and consciousness of a sunset without labeling it sunset, let alone a beautiful sunset, and without an object.
I would say for me that ‘feeling’ of acceptance, bliss, consciousness and existence goes beyond the word love, which for me seems somewhat limiting. Yes, i know there are many types of love. For me I would not say I love the antelope and love the lion or love the inter-play.
I would say I accept it w/o judgment and labeling  and there is complete joy in watching it occur. that’s about as far as I would go. for me love is more like what I feel for my cat Ripley as I said.
And once again, I admit that my mind set up sat-chit-Ananda as something over there that I have to get to. Instead of seeing clearly it’s right here, right now, at all times.
I’m sure this is not the last time it’ll happen, but it is a good reminder.
AND, just a reminder -the experience is just happening – seeing, hearing, feeling joyfulness, peace are just happening  – to no one.
The idea that it’s happening  to “me” -which still appears today, is simply not true. Could be old “sloppy” mental habits.
And it’s not a case of oh, I feel really good now looking at stuff or wow I feel joy just being or wow I’m in bliss just emptying the cat box, or wow this is really wonderful that my leg hurts so much.
it doesn’t work like that. It’s an all pervading always there feeling and sense of well-being joy acceptance.
But we all get so busy and lost in doing and lost in thinking that we miss the simple truth of the joy of just being existing and being conscious and present in the Now. That feeling of joy, acceptance, bliss is our ground state, and, it is subtle and easily missed when overlaid with constant mind-noise. Quiet the mind and see what’s there.
My meditation practice has expanded to include focusing attention on the buzz in my hands, which may be a point of I am in my body and connecting that with the I am spaciousness in my head, allowing the field to expand to encompass my head, my neck, my shoulders and my arms down to my hands, possibly eventually the entire body. Maybe tomorrow.

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