November 17,2022
Dr. ***, first visit Oct 27, 2022
Nov 7th, Lasagna,
Dr. *** Nov 10th
Start with Tolle practice Friday Nov 11
Continue Saturday Nov 12 – casa photos that night – clear
Late Nov 12 – reversal of foreground and background understanding of the one manifesting as practice.
Early Sunday Nov 13, tears in meditation, Emergence of clarity and exuberance, knowing I’m home, love for D my goddess, dropping of sadness and worry and fear. Came down with cold late that night.
Monday 11/13 in contraction from cold.
Tuesday 11/14 Exuberance – calls with Jeff and Bob G.
Wednesday 11/15 shame over poor treatment of Sean and bad pointers.
Cleared by sending Tolle pointers
10:30 pm – Clarity and Exuberance, knowing search light, apology to Sean, spirit in practice, I love Us, channeling for friends and family.
Thursday 11/16 – Yoga in the am – feeling of foreign joe-ness floats away
Day off from work, exuberance down, then up again for visit with Dr. Buckley
Friday, 11/16 – work day – went ok.
Reading Conceptual clarity, Awakening and Liberation and then Maharshi’s description of end state of Jnani – let down, feelings of not enough progress, can’t do that, too weird, unattractive, too much work. Then, later relaxing and realize this happens over a long period of time and might not be so bad. Which led to:
Saturday 11/17 Started reading Maharshi and learned correct practice of I and who am I
Talked to sister.
George and the house with D. Great time with G/F/D and clearly showing up differently
Noticing of the arising of Ahimsa – non-violence in thought word and deed. Resulting return to vegetarianism and sattvic foods.
started Be Here Now – seeing it in a new light
10:30 pm awake and clear, practicing and started Om chant, and
Sunday 11/18 – trying to sleep holding “relax” and ”sleep” in mind only partially successful.
Realization mind is machine – good servant bad master, can answer questions when put to it – like a search engine – So who Am I leads to the answer shining through in love, compassion, stillness…+ cat questions
Asked question: what is meaning of life and instant answer was – service to others.
Apology to J
Feeling of calm and still, no emotions, unless needed.
Have to exert effort to think of technical issues at work – leave it for Monday.
Started this timeline