November, 19, 2022
While in meditation, I have started practicing focusing on “sense of I am ” – repeating “I” within my mind and then when thoughts arise, asking where do these thoughts come from : answer is “me” – and then asking “Who Am I”
per Ramana Maharshi’s instructions.Who Am I
“That which arises in the physical body as ‘I’ is the mind. If one inquires whence the ‘I’-thought in the body arises in the first instance, it will be found that it is from hrdayam (literally ‘I am the Heart), or the Heart. That is the source and stay of the mind. Or again, even if one merely continuously repeats to oneself inwardly ‘I-I’ with the entire mind fixed thereon, that also leads one to the same source.
Since every other thought can occur only after the rise of the ‘I’-thought and since the mind is nothing but a bundle of thoughts, it is only through the inquiry ‘Who am I?’ that the mind subsides. Moreover, the integral ‘I’-thought, implicit in such enquiry, having destroyed all other thoughts, gets itself destroyed or consumed, just as the stick used for stirring the burning funeral pyre gets consumed.
Even when extraneous thoughts sprout up during such enquiry, do not seek to complete the rising thought, but instead, deeply enquire within, ‘To who has this thought occurred?’ No matter how many thoughts thus occur to you, if you would with acute vigilance enquire immediately as and when each individual thought arises to whom it has occurred, you would find it is to ‘me’. If then you enquire ‘Who am I?’ the mind gets introverted and the rising thought also subsides. In this manner as you persevere more and more in the practice of Self-enquiry, the mind acquires increasing strength and power to abide in its Source.”
I am also working to be aware of awareness “behind” activities when not in meditation – much harder with eyes open – I am very addicted to my sight.
There is awareness of being aware.
If I keep asking what is aware of the awareness there is – conceptually – not experientially – an infinite regression – I do not think that is correct path. But IDK.
I do notice when I am aware of being aware that there appears to be a small place inside my head at approximately the middle-back of my head, a few inches behind the eyes towards the left.
I do notice when I am aware of being aware that there appears to be a small place inside my head at approximately the middle-back of my head, a few inches behind the eyes towards the left. I can focus attention on this and it seems to pull some attention away from “external” things.
Is this worth pursuing or is it Makyo?
Any other suggestions for deepening this practice as described by RM? – other than sheer practice?
If that is all that is required, fine, but not wanting to get lost in makyo (again).