November 20, 2022
So, my current take:
I can easily focus on the thought “I” in meditation – and there is an feeling of attention going to an area behind my forehead between the eyes – 3rd eye I think – the feeling or sense of the thought I seems to reside there – not sure if this is really true or helpful – I tend to distrust physical manifestations – or at best it might be useful now but have to be dropped later, of course.
At first I couldn’t focus n the sense of I when out of mediation and active, but that sense is now accessible during action, like walking the cats or typing – though it’s tougher.
But, there is a sense of some small, yet noticeable amount of attention being withdrawn or held back from the outward external direction of attention – which I think is what makes the external thought-world “feel” solid and real.
And, I can see that over time as more and more attention is pulled away/withheld from thought-based ‘external” world, that it would be easier to do, more attention would go inward instead of outward and the external world would become less “real” = more like watching a movie.
This is 5% experience and 95 % conceptual – but k thing that is correct.
So, it just takes time. I’ve spent 60+ years pouring attention outward and then getting lost in the immersive aspect of perception and thought stream – – it will take a while to break the inertia.
But it seems doable – like intense exercise to strengthening a muscle. Noting woo woo about it. Breaking a habit learned and honed over time.
Even at 75 mph on the freeway.